July 28, 2007

  • SALVATION'S NEXT STOP: LORDSHIP

    When I was 22, I put my hope and trust in Jesus. As a step of obedience, I was baptized in little Bible Baptist Church in Hallandale, Florida. Afterwards, it literally felt as though a ton of weight was taken off my shoulders. I mean it as though someone had physically unloaded a heavy bag that I was carrying around. I remember thinking, "man that was strange," but it felt so good. In fact, I used to walk around with a HUGE grin that must have connected my ears. The salvation of Christ is without a doubt the greatest experience I've ever had.


    Several weeks later, after a church service, I was talking to a middle-aged lady who commented, "So, you must be one of those new Christians."  Guilty.  "Yes, isn't it great?" The huge grin must have given me away. Then she stunned me with her next remark,


    "Don't worry, it'll wear off."


    I decided then and there that, "I will NEVER become like that woman."  In making that personal commitment, I began to take steps against developing a hard shell on my new found faith; however, what I didn't realize was that I was also taking back the reins of my life into my own hands. I was calling the shots, determining my path, and ultimately, trusting in myself. My motives were noble but my claim to control my destiny was an act of rebellious independence.  Proverbs 28:26 - He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.


    God doesn't negotiate His lordship. He let me walk in my own foolishness for a while. Life became frustrating and I was losing many personal battles. My first college roommate in Gainesville wasn't a believer, so the pursuit of righteousness and purity wasn't any of his concern. In fact, it didn't seem to be the concern of any of the students at the University of Florida. Then one evening, following more frustration and failure, I sat on the floor, leaning against my bed and wept bitterly before finally surrendering my will completely to Him. I remember telling God, "Fine Lord, I'll be anyone you want me to be. I'll even be just like that woman if that's what you want."  I honestly expected that He would clone my personality to be just like some of the lukewarm people back home; but that didn't matter, I was surrendering, and I was surrendering everything.


    Then the peace that passes all understanding descended on me. It was a wave of love of comfort and peace and it came after I finally got serious and genuinely surrendered my being. As I sat there, basking in the warmth of God's love, the thought  'Hey, wait a minute, I'm still the same person,' dawned on me. I realized that God didn't want to change my personality--something that I was apparently clinging to--but simply wanted to assert His rightful position in my life. I was tilting my lance towards windmills and began fighting imaginary battles based on misperceived notions not grounded in truth, not open to His purposes. 


    Never say, 'Never!' to God unless you enjoy jumping on the wrong train heading down the wrong track.